ATLANTA, Georgia - Wearing their Sunday best, the entire Bentinel staff -- a clutch of dedicated editors, writers, and janitorial staff -- descended on Atlanta earlier this week to be present for the awarding of the prestigious Editor & Publisher awards, the coveted EPpy. Though unable to scrape together the $125 entry fee, hopes were high among the staff that its presence alone may garner a sympathy vote. Such was not to be the case, however.

"[The Bentinel lost out] to some stupid college rag." -- Bentinel staffer

Category after category was read out. "I thought we were a shoo-in for 'Most Improved In Parenthesized Explanation Of Acronyms'," lamented one Bentinel staffer, "But it went to some stupid college rag." Though widely held out as a favorite for "Least Likely To Still Be Publishing Next Year", The Bentinel also failed to capture even this recognition. The collective countenance of the staff, once heady with excitement and anticipation, was clearly falling with each disappointing announcement. No nominations, no votes. And certainly, no awards.

The final blow came when security stopped by the table the staff had more-or-less absconded and demanded to see invitations. While invitations were shown, they were clearly forgeries, since the staff had no real invitations to base them on. Embarrassingly, several key words had been misspelled, including "EPpy (Eppie)", "Publisher (Publischor)", and perhaps worst of all, "Bentinel (Bentinull)".

The staff is now back in Columbus, Ohio. The award shelf that had been erected has been dismantled. Crestfallen, but dedicated, the staff has agreed to take another run at it next year. The extra dime for coffee, they hope, will enable them to pay next year's bribe entry fee and secure The Bentinel its rightful recognition.
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