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Fake-Fur Protest Turns Ugly

DULUTH, Minnesota - Members of the Fur Trappers and Traders Association are facing assault charges over their protest against synthetic furs. The protest began peacefully at 6pm when a group of mostly men assembled in Memorial Park carrying signs and banners with anti-fake-fur messages. At approximately 7:15pm, however, one member allegedly tossed a bucket of oil on a woman wearing a synthetic fur, causing $150 worth of damages. No one was injured in the attack.

"It's criminal, plain and simple. These guys get all worked up every year and sure enough every year somebody goes too far," said Duluth Sheriff Monty Feltner. "Last year they were springing out from behind cars wearing dinosaur costumes shouting, 'How would you like me to wear you?' or some fool thing. Idiots."

"We're protecting our livelihood, there's nothing more basic than that," said Fur TATA representative Andrew Carnahan. "American people, trapping American animals, making clothes in America, and selling them to Americans. How can you compare that to buying oil from overseas, having some fake thing processed out of it, and having some Chinese sweatshop deliver it?"

"These guys aren't all Mom and apple pie," responded Paul Weiser, chairman of the group People Don't Have Fur. "They play it up like they are great American patriots, defending the old way of life. In reality, they see the trend against wearing fur and it scares them. It should, they're becoming obsolete."


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